I am too lazy to write a real thing, especially since I blew most of my day off on online training for the Army. Much of it was live-tweeted, the results of which I have organized in chronological order and annotated because I’m cool like that. Also, I wanted to play with Storify.
So in December I flew over to the East coast for two weeks to tell some people how to do their jobs. I spent most of that time using chat (often with people back home), so really, I’m a little fuzzy on whether it was really worth flying all the way out there and staying in a hotel, but mine is not to reason why.
My hotel was about 10 to 12 minutes from work, so unlike everyone else in the entire time zone, I didn’t have strong feelings about my commute. It literally took me longer to walk to the office from my parking space than it did to drive to the parking space from my hotel. This is important for later.
My initial rental car was a Toyota, but a week and a Check Engine light later, I swapped for a recent model Ford Fusion. I like the Ford Fusion in many respects, except for the entirety of the in-car interface, powered by Microsoft SYNC. It looked just like this:
I just used my tablet to record my firstborn’s first movie epic, Humans vs. Meat-Eaters. It’s a little light on plot, but has a lot of sound effects and screaming. Also, the velociraptor has a truly touching and evocative death scene at the hands of an Army sergeant (played by a Lego Iron Man mini-figure and three-year-old Izverg).
I didn’t even suggest that the hero of the film be an Army NCO, but apparently that was a given. I had some qualms about the non-existent “dinosaur hunter” MOS, but I’m not about to mess with a 6-year-old’s artistic vision.
(It should go without saying, but everything Ranger Up in general and The Damn Few in particular is not safe for children or anyone offended by harsh language.)
The Damn Few is the truest portrayal of how military people interact ever put to cartoon. The trailer is here; the entire series is on YouTube (starting here). Hilarity varies somewhat, but I’ve never not laughed at one. They are all pretty offensive.
This is my absolute favorite episode, bar none. It starts out funny, gets painfully hilarious around 3:50, and I had to watch the ending four times in a row when it first came out.
The DVD set includes the episodes so far plus origin stories for the core characters which are not otherwise available. The behind-the-scenes and making-of special features are a disturbing mix of hilarity and insight. I would have bought this just to support the company and thank them for the episodes already available, but there’s a lot of value added here for $20.
You should probably buy a t-shirt while you’re there. Or the terrorists will win.
While digging through my office / hiding place looking for something else the other day, I happened upon a yellow notepad with a bunch of random notes in it from various trips and activities. Buried about ten pages in was a list of “Rejected annual training mottos” from our unit AT in 2012.
Oh, the memories brought back by this list. The memories. The rage. The hate. Continue reading